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20 Weeks Pregnant: Still Doesn’t Feel Real, Yet

I guess it’s a perfect time as any to start blogging about this pregnancy. I had been waiting for that moment where it felt real but to be honest, that moment hasn’t happened yet. Nervous? Maybe. My husband and I wanted this for so long, almost too long and now that it’s here, I’m nervous as heck. As you may know, we’ve had our fair share of challenges. I’ve even blogged about them here. A month before I found out I was pregnant, I wrote that blog post about our challenges with fertility, I said “If we have another child, that would be a dream come true but if I can be honest, I’m past the dreaming stage, my hopes are dwindling and I am facing a harsh reality here that it could very well not be a possibility for us. I have come to accept what I have, what I cannot change and just try my best to be healthy, get healthier and do what I can. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t… I guess it just doesn’t. That’s about as easy as it can be at this point. It’s a process that I’ve learned does not come easy.” That was posted September 6th, 2014. On October 25th, 2014, I found out I was pregnant.

For the first few months, I took so many pregnancy tests. I was in denial. I could not believe it. Was this really happening? What if something happens? So many things ran through my mind, especially since the doctor saw two sacs and thought we might possibly have twins. That was an option for a few weeks. We had to wait 3 weeks until my next appointment and ultrasound to confirm things. We were only expecting one and the baby looked healthy.

Deep breaths? Not yet.

For weeks, months even, I held my breath. I just didn’t want to get my hopes up. I was scared but also excited. I took a few more pregnancy tests. Just because.


I don’t remember ever being this nervous with my first child. I didn’t really know what to expect and maybe that was a blessing in disguise. This pregnancy has been very different from my first and even that freaked me out a little bit at first.

I’m now 20 weeks and I just passed the “sick everyday, all day” stage. I feel good, I still don’t have much energy but I’m getting there. I’ve since found out that we are having a girl, a healthy beautiful little girl with the most adorable button nose.


She also loves to suck her thumb and do back flips during ultrasounds.

It still doesn’t seem real but I’m slowly accepting the fact that OH MY GOSH, I’M PREGNANT and pretty soon we will have a beautiful little girl to cuddle, hold and to love. My oldest daughter is so excited to be a big sister.

Now, to get going with the nursery. I really do need to get started. I think I’ll wait until March. ;)

Modern Day Moms

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