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Advice Everyday Health

Keys to Your Happiness: Ways to Stop Beating Yourself Up with Negative Thinking

Hey you! I know some days are better than others, but we just have to keep moving forward. Don’t lose sight of your goals and stay focused on how you can achieve them. Everyone’s ultimate goal should be happiness!

Lately, I have noticed a trend on social media of people – mostly us women – who have mentioned not being happy with their lives. A lot of these women feel inadequate or like they aren’t doing enough to make a difference. I think a lot of this comes from things we do to ourselves that makes us feel this way and I have compiled a list of those and what we can do to help change that!

  1. Comparison and regret are the two biggest thieves of joy. Don’t compare your life to other women or moms who seem to have it all together because I can promise you that they don’t. We all have something that can be improved in our lives and not one of us is above or past that. Every day we can refine something and always strive to be better than we were the day before. Some of us present a pretty picture because it is one thing that makes us feel like we have it all together, but we don’t. We never do. And that’s ok. I think accepting that is the key to avoiding allowing them (comparison and regret) to become an issue for us. 

    And don’t live in regret. Leave the past in the past and accept that you made the best decision in that moment to get you where you are. Learn from your mistakes and strive to do better if you are faced with the same challenges/issues.

  2. Stop making excuses for why you don’t have the time to do something you want to do. It’s bullsh*t. There is always time to tend to the things that make us happy. If you are short on time, MAKE TIME. It’s important that we continue to invest our time in activities that make us happy and feel like we are doing more than just being. Need to workout and feel like you don’t have the time to? You do. While you are waiting on the water to boil for your pasta, do squats. While taking your dogs out to pee, do some more squats. There are always little spots of time that can be filled with some of the smaller things we want to do. Working out 10 times a day has been show to be just as effective as one long session. If you need a date night with your spouse, but never seem to be able to get a babysitter, plan to put the kids to bed early one night (try until you succeed) and have date night in the bathtub talking to each other while drinking wine or play some card games. I promise you, this is just as fun as going out somewhere and can help you stay connected.
  3. Stop listing all the things you don’t have and pay attention to all that you do have. A lot of times we see things that other people have (once again, refer to #1) and wish we could afford them or had the ability to acquire them. Look at your past and where you have come from and I guarantee you will remember times where you wished you had what you have now. Sometimes life and money get tight and some things are just hard to do, but if you make adjustments, you can get closer to achieving a goal of purchasing something you want/need. And also, look at all the things that money CAN’T buy that you have!! Your children, a happy marriage, your health, beautiful skin or hair, humility, integrity, a great job…..I mean, the list can go on and on.
  4. Stop wishing your life away and enjoy the moment because you will never get that back. Sure, we all look forward to our future, especially when we have goals we want to accomplish, but keeping your attention in dreamland thinking about what life will be like then will rob you of your life today. Enjoy each day and live in the moment. Wake up and be grateful for the day and the ability to do the things you can do. Be productive each day so that you can feel accomplished when the day ends. This is one way to really feel happy is when you can be proud of the work you do each and every day.
  5. Stop wasting your time doing things that serve you no purpose. So you just spent an hour browsing Facebook and watching a live feed of a giraffe who’s about to give birth or a video of dog fails. Sure, it’s entertaining, but it can also be a vacuum of your time…and what do you have to show for it in the end? And a lot of times, this is where we wind up comparing our lives to others: social media. Remember that social media is a way to stay connected. Use it for just that and move on about your day. Invest your time in activities that will bring you peace and happiness. Maybe get back to doing things that you used to enjoy that you no longer do. Or try a new hobby. Go for a walk in the park. Drive to the next city and explore the area.

We all get one life and there is no reason to waste any of our time on things that make us miserable. Learn to forgive and let go of things or people that have hurt you. Learn to love and respect yourself enough to set boundaries and limits. Do the things that make you happy. Stop allowing negative feelings and emotions to reign over you. Make changes in your life that will set you on a path that you feel positive about. Set an example for others and spread those positive vibes.


Wendy is a facebook administrator and editor for Modern Day Moms. She is a multi-purpose mom (aren’t we all, really?) who loves home decor, couponing, sewing, photography, Pinterest, frugal living… ok, pretty much all the same things that most women love! She enjoys spending time with her family and friends while living on the gulf coast. Her two Boston Terriers - Oscar and Lily - occasionally make appearances on MDM.



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